Approach anxiety, or the fear of making that approach, is there for every guy. The strength of this feeling varies from one man to the next, and for each guy, it varies from day to day. One day, you might feel confident enough to approach a woman, and on another day you might be paralyzed by this fear.
Here are some easy ways to overcome this common fear that sometimes cripples many men and prevents them from approaching a girl. It takes some practice, but having the confidence to approach any woman with charm and ask her out is something all guys are capable of doing if they put their mind to it.
Become The Governor
How do you normally walk around each day? Are you looking in shop windows, maybe down at your feet, talking on your phone or texting somebody? Try something different the next time you’re out. Walk around as if you are the Governor or Mayor and say hello or smile to everyone you see. Greet people you recognize and have a conversation. With strangers, just say hello and give them a smile.
There are no strings attached to this exercise. You will probably never see most of these people again and, if you do, it’s unlikely either of you will remember meeting. Use this exercise to inspire your confidence in approaching people. You will see that nothing bad can happen by saying hello.
Get Out Of Your Cave
Generally, the best way to overcome any shyness is by getting out of the house and out of your regular routine. You need to go into the world where you will meet and talk to new people. Volunteering is a good way to do this. Whether you choose a food bank or an animal shelter, you will be meeting and talking with new people every day.
Another good idea is to check out MeetUp.com for any local gatherings. There are more people in your situation than you think. Some of them will be women and some of these women you will be attracted to. The entire set up is perfect for easing yourself into approaching women with new found confidence.
Create An Uncomfortable Situation
Just once or twice, try to put yourself in a situation that’s a bit awkward or uncomfortable. I know how crazy this sounds, but the neurological reward is worth it. You’re essentially training yourself to extend your comfort zone and push your boundaries further. The further your boundaries are, the more you can accomplish in life.
Start with small things first, then experiment with really uncomfortable situations. You will learn how to handle different kinds of social stresses and what you need to do differently in each type of situation. Don’t expect any outcome to the situation; just do it as an exercise.
In reality, what truly intimidates men about approaching women is not the actual encounter – the act of greeting or having a conversation with a woman – but the expected outcome or the mental assumptions of that outcome. It’s basically the risk that scares men.
By practicing approaching people with the intention of just chatting, with no strings attached and no assumptions about how the conversation will proceed, you can build your confidence and the fear of approaching will start to disappear. Try talking to waiters and servers or employees at places you visit throughout the week. This is good practice, because they will always be friendly, since they’re expecting to talk with customers.